The Vampire Clambered O’er The Wall

to the tune: The Gypsy Rover

The Vampire clambered o’er the wall
Into an alley so shady
Went to a casino
- It was called New Reno -
And won the heart of a la-a-ady.

Ah dee doo ahdee doo da day
Ah dee doo ahdee da-a-dy
Don’t play if you meet
‘Cause vampires cheat
And you’ll lose the heart of a la-a-a-dy

She left New Reno by its front gate
She left her game of poker
Cursing in French
The heartless wench
Hired a repose-e-essor.

‘Of sharpened hardwood are my stakes
Stol’n from picket fences
Van Helsing’s my name
Vampires are my game
One hundred a day, plus expe-e-enses.’

He tracked the vampire through the town
Through streets both bright and shady
Cornered the vamp,
Cried ‘Hold it – tramp!’
For the vampire was no la-a-ady.

Bat eyelashes:
‘Come away with me and be my love
Join the folk so shady!’
Big pause for thought:
‘I love your hips,
And your ruby-red lips
To hell with the heart of the la-a-ady!

Ah dee doo ahdee doo da day
Ah dee doo ahdee da-a-dy
In love he’ll stay
In a dying way
Van Helsing and his vampire la-a-ady.

by Horatio the Puppeteer Drop Bear and Lady Niniane della Nueva Avaloňa,
the Merry Anachronists